IT Leaders

Adam Weber: 00:00

Hey, everyone. Morning. How are you? I'll give you just give you a little quick background so you know who I am before I just dive into this. This is an hour long keynote.

Adam Weber: 00:09

I have a recording of myself doing it. So if if you're like, I wanna know what the other half is, just shoot me an email or or actually LinkedIn is probably easiest. Just find me on LinkedIn and I'll send you the full hour. I've spent the last fifteen years in culture and leadership development. I founded two tech companies here in Indianapolis.

Adam Weber: 00:27

One's Amplify where we did engagement measurement for Expedia and Gaylor and probably a lot of the people in this room. And now I'm an executive coach where I help leaders on their own growth journeys, uncovering areas of self sabotage, and just dealing with the hard work of being a leader. So that's what this talk is all about too. It's real stuff, so just brace yourself. Alright?

Adam Weber: 00:48

So and I was trying to fit decide which which half of the talk to do. So we're gonna kind of make it work. But I'm gonna take you back to the very beginning. My heavy angry footsteps echoed off the concrete walls as I dramatically stormed out of a team meeting. And let me tell you, I wish I thought in advance that the door was a good 30 feet away.

Adam Weber: 01:11

Because by the time I got there, I'm in the middle of this team meeting, I get angry at my team, I start stomping out, and then by the time I got to that door, my anger had already devolved into shame and embarrassment. Because I I wasn't delivering a master class on how to motivate your team through dramatic, reactions. No, I was delivering a master class in the damage you can inflict from unregulated, unhinged leadership. I look back on this moment and I wonder like what was actually going on in my life. On the outside looking in, it looked great.

Adam Weber: 01:50

This is my first startup. We had 35 employees by our first year, a 100 customers. We'd raised millions of dollars. I was in the news constantly. And prior to this, I had entry level job by the way.

Adam Weber: 02:05

So on the outside looking in, it looks like everything's going great for me and on the inside, I am absolutely crumbling. I'm totally falling apart. The the pressure and the stress basically had my energy really low and my frustration really high. And so what did I do? I took a situation that was genuinely frustrating, my team not showing up how I wanted them to, and I made it much, much worse by my own reaction.

Adam Weber: 02:39

Has anyone ever as a leader ever done that? Taken a hard situation and then actually made it worse by how you ended up showing up. Yeah. And I am also an expert at doing this in my marriage. So if you're looking for advice, I'm happy to talk about that too.

Adam Weber: 02:52

But there's this there's this really frustrating nature to leadership that's not talked about very often. And I get the cool thing about my job is I get to talk to leaders one on one in private, and nobody else knows what they say. And I can just tell you this, everyone is really frustrated. Frustrated that their teams aren't as bought in as they wish they would, they don't care as much as they do, they quit without telling them. It is a it is by nature, it can be a really frustrating challenging job.

Adam Weber: 03:28

But the challenge with this too though is that when when my battery is low and my frustration is high and I'm susceptible to having my own version of a stomp out moment, which can look different for everybody, right? So for me, my when when I feel stressed, I try to take charge. When other people get frustrated, what they do is they withdraw. They try to just weather it, hunker down, hope it goes away. This will take care of itself.

Adam Weber: 03:52

We all have our own different ways we react to stress. But ultimately, what this is about is that when we're in this moment, we lose our perspective. And great leadership, which I love this is about leadership. Was a little worried coming into an IT group talking about I was like, no. Great leadership maintains perspective.

Adam Weber: 04:14

And so we're going to talk about perspective. But before we do, there's a reason when I meet with CEOs and I'm in their office, if I'm their office, I write in all caps on their whiteboard, business is problems. This is a quote from Danny Meyer, he's the CEO of Shake Shack. And I love this because it so simply explains what it means to do business. The people that are the best at doing business are the best at solving yeah.

Adam Weber: 04:43

Problems. They're the best solving problems. And so really then, being a great leader is all about how do I solve problems? How do I become the best problem solver? And when your battery's low and your frustration's high, that is basically a recipe for not being a good problem solver.

Adam Weber: 05:04

So the big question then is, how do I maintain my perspective? What are the things that I can do in my life that allow me to maintain my perspective so that I can become the very best problem solver and the best leader that I'm capable of being. What I mean by that and hopefully I'm I'm confident you've all felt this. Battery low, you face a problem and it feels like you're at bottom of a mountain looking up. Like you almost feel frozen.

Adam Weber: 05:34

Like you cannot kind of find within yourself a way to move forward. So the smallest problem feels insurmountable. Has anybody ever felt this before? Yeah. Just yesterday I was talking this was literally yesterday.

Adam Weber: 05:49

This isn't like a fake story yesterday thing, you know. Literally yesterday, I'm talking to a CEO and he's like, now, he's like, anytime someone comes to me with a problem, he's like, can literally feel my blood boil. He's like, And it's not them, it's me. He's like, I just am not in a place where I'm able receive and handle the problem and solve it effectively right now. So I feel totally frozen.

Adam Weber: 06:14

But what do we do in this environment for the most of us? We just push through. Just try to take it on ourselves and work harder and we think solution is somehow trying to push through and and basically dig a hole through this mountain. But what we're going to talk about today is if business is problems and the best people at business are the best at solving problems, we need to think about what it takes to maintain this perspective more often than not. So rather than being at the bottom of the mountain looking up, I'm at the top of the mountain and I'm looking out.

Adam Weber: 06:48

It's a concept I talk a lot about in leadership. I'm maintaining my altitude, my perspective. I haven't lost sight of the bigger aspect of the business. I do work mostly with c like CEOs and c level, and I will say this thing is critical for them. It's critical for director levels.

Adam Weber: 07:07

It's harder, honestly, because you always have one foot in the day to day and one foot in the vision. And flipping back and forth can be really challenging. But the very best leaders I found are the ones who are able to really take a step back and really assess the situation that's in front of them. And so we're going to talk about how you can maintain perspective in your life. In doing so, when you think about the great leaders in your own life and what that opens up for you, what I found is that the very best leaders have this trait.

Adam Weber: 07:38

It's a calm, steady presence. So you know as a as a team member what to expect when that person walks into the room. And have any of you ever experienced the inverse of that? You want to bring an idea up to your manager and you have zero idea how they're going to react. Right?

Adam Weber: 07:58

It is a chaotic, psychologically unsafe, innovation stifling, unproductive culture, and the vast majority of people live in that version of leadership. Everybody on the team's walking on eggshells. Should I say this? Could I bring this up? How can I phrase this to avoid a reaction?

Adam Weber: 08:15

And they just keep their blinders on until the day they quit. But when you as a leader are able to maintain your altitude and provide a calm steady presence for your team, you really open up dialogue to solve problems in powerful, effective ways as well. This is not stomping out of a team meeting, just so you know. This is inverse of that moment. It's interesting how much damage that moment caused.

Adam Weber: 08:46

That was twelve years ago. It was about three weeks ago, had a happy hour with that team. I don't work with any of them anymore, and they still brought up that moment and how much it impacted them. That's how much how easy it is to erode trust. It takes years to build, about 30 angry steps to damage and erode.

Adam Weber: 09:09

And so if that is not the type of leader we want to be, when we are able to stay calm and steady, what this allows us to do is it allows us to see the bigger picture so we can rise above the noise of the day. We can kind of assess the situation. We can stay grounded in the storm. So when challenges come up, when problems arise, we don't lose that perspective and we can solve problems effectively. And then we lead with authenticity and what I call steadiness too.

Adam Weber: 09:40

So this part is so critical because the thing I hear the most from non leaders about leaders is I never know how they're going to show up. And so when you give this gift to your team, you also unlock a lot of truth. You've you've start to see problems inside the business that you weren't aware of because people start to be honest with you instead of withholding those things. So all of this culminates I have a book called Lead Like a Human and it covers a lot these things, but I have a whole chapter on this concept of centeredness. And centeredness is all about what are the practices I need to put in my life that allow me to show up in a calm and steady way?

Adam Weber: 10:19

To maintain my perspective, decisions, to solve hard problems. I wish there were this was an easy answer on how to do this, but the reality is this is the work of your life, and so this is really the commitment. When you're talking about all the ways you grow when you become a leader, and this is the other half of my talk, what really happens is all your childhood wounds get exposed. They come out in really awkward chaotic ways like storming out of a team meeting or whatever it is for you, and you have to either face them or you just react to you kind of feel like you're a victim to your own self. And so what centeredness does is it allows us to live a life that is predictable and allows us to show up in calm and steady ways.

Adam Weber: 11:03

So we're going to talk about this. There are no magical answers, but what I thought I'd do is just share some of the things I've learned from these behind the closed door conversations of what's working for other people. So it's real. Okay? Here we go.

Adam Weber: 11:14

The first thing is that you have to live a meaningful life outside of work. I cannot tell you how many people I've met who have sacrificed their very sense of self in exchange for work. They say things like, I'm great at work, my personal life is a disaster. But likely behind the scenes what's really going on there is there's something there's some there's a loyal soldier. I talk about this in the other half of the talk, but basically like, there's something from your childhood that likely says like, you're only loved if you achieve something.

Adam Weber: 11:49

And you're waiting to achieve something to feel that love inside of your life. And so if you want to have a centered life where you maintain perspective though, you have to have hobbies, and a life outside of work, and friendship. And I know this stuff sounds basic, but I can tell you from the conversations I have, it's not actually happening. It actually takes discipline and commitment. When I look back on being a startup founder and venture backed tech, the part I regret the most is the dinners with my family when my mind was on work.

Adam Weber: 12:20

Work is fun. It's either fun or super stressful, but both of those things hijack your brain. And so we want to give your brain a break by living a vibrant and robust life outside of work. And how you do this is by defining the life that you want and actually honoring it. So if you're looking for a really simple way to do this, you can write this down right now if you want.

Adam Weber: 12:40

I do this with all my clients. I have them write on a note on their phone or on a piece of paper like it's what day is today? September 16. So I go, it's 09/16/2028 and I can't believe all that's happened. And then set a timer for fifteen minutes and free write about your life in the future and what you want your life to be like in the future.

Adam Weber: 13:03

And I think you'll start to see some of these things really unfold. Write about your job and your career and the culture you've built, but also write about your family and your own personal growth and your health and how you've shown up. What I do then with my clients is I have them read it back to me with the most conviction they can muster up. Like, hey, read this thing back to me like it's true and it's this beautiful moment where they're like, it's powerful and it's dynamic. And then they get to their kids and they just start crying every single time.

Adam Weber: 13:35

And if you're in the military, you cry twice as hard. I don't make the rules. I don't know what happens. It's just I think what really is going 15 year old that's now 18 and off to college, or you've got a two year old who's now five and headed to kindergarten, or he just became a grandparent for the very first time, you start to realize like how incredibly quickly this journey of life actually is. And that it is a thing worth prioritizing, not just being a victim of.

Adam Weber: 14:10

So define the life you want and honor it. And work cannot be your only hobby. If you want to maintain healthy perspective to solve problems and be great at business, you cannot have work be your only hobby. So find a hobby. Your brain is longing for trivial things outside of work to spend its mind on.

Adam Weber: 14:35

And yes, this is a slide so I could put pickleball on the slide. I love pickleball. I play constantly and I put up there because I know there's two people in this room who get it. And I record videos of myself playing pickleball, and watch the videos back. And then in between, I watch videos of other people playing pickleball.

Adam Weber: 14:52

Because your brain is longing for trivial things to think about. I don't care what your hobby is, but give yourself some space from work. And I think the weirder the hobby, the better. My brother-in-law is a CEO of a tech company here in Indy. His hobby is researching boots.

Adam Weber: 15:08

It's a weird hobby. He loves it. He's all about like, what's the best boot? I got to really think about boots. And I'm like, your brain is longing for these things to keep you interested.

Adam Weber: 15:19

But that that allow you to maintain that looking out mountain top perspective. The other challenge is oh, so John Wexler, one of the best entrepreneur this is great doing this in Indiana. Everybody actually knows who he is. Okay, cool. So, you know, SpokNote on the Pacer jersey, the logo on the Pacer jersey.

Adam Weber: 15:38

That SpokNote, he's the CEO of SpokNote. He's one of finest entrepreneurs in Indiana and who I've worked with on this topic. And John, what you you see in John, he's an incredible entrepreneur. He's driven, he's motivated as anybody in the world, but you see how his hobbies fuel his entrepreneurship. This man, he loves his woodshop.

Adam Weber: 15:58

He's got a woodshop at his house, loves building things for his friends and for himself, he loves thinking about what he's going to build in the woodshop. But you can see how it's like, I love my woodshop and creating things. I give it my full focus and it gives me a renewed energy and fresh perspective for SpokNote. The other thing I think that's challenging in the knowledge workforce is it's really easy to get convinced that your brain is your whole body and it is and so people then will sacrifice their very bodies in exchange for work, for this achievement need that is somehow deeply embedded in us. And exercise though is a really critical way to improve your problem solving.

Adam Weber: 16:44

Like if the best people at business are the best at solving problems, we need to be honest about what it takes to be great problem solver. And part of that is you can't live your life like a brain on a stick. And so I'm not talking don't have to be a world class fitness model. I'm not talking about that. I'm saying, give yourself thirty minutes a day of movement to help your brain think about other things, solve problems.

Adam Weber: 17:06

And it also does this beautiful thing exercise does, I think. It reminds you that you are not your job. You need things in your life that remind you that you are not your job. And the science backs this up. Regular movement boosts problem solving, decision making, and cognitive flexibility.

Adam Weber: 17:27

Saw this with one of my other clients, Peter Dunn, Pete the Planner, who just last year in the middle of growing a really high growth startup and goes, I got to make a serious commitment to my physical health. And you see this, I wanted to stop trying to make optimal decisions with suboptimal inputs. I owed it to my coworkers, my investors, my family, and importantly myself. And then you see the impact of that decision. How now I'm able to make better decisions.

Adam Weber: 17:53

I feel more confident. I feel more clear of mind as well. One of the things I've noticed about leaders is that they're great at finding problems. Like the scanning and finding of problems is the thing that most people show up today and they're already good at. They're like, hey, one thing I know I'm good at, figuring out what's wrong.

Adam Weber: 18:21

And then they try to build their whole culture around that. Right? Just like this thing's wrong and that thing's wrong and that thing's wrong. It's a really important skill to have. If it is the main skill you have, it creates really toxic cultures.

Adam Weber: 18:34

It creates cultures that compound around problems versus what is good, what is working as well. Relate to that? Like, I'm pretty good at figuring out what's wrong. It's actually harder for me to see the good stuff. Can anybody relate to that?

Audience: 18:53

You've described every IT person who's ever lived.

Adam Weber: 18:57

Well, wasn't going to be too specific about IT, but can I just tell you, I have analyzed literally millions of data points of employee engagement surveys? And I can tell you without fail, one of the most common challenges that happens to team at the team level, so not like the c suite level, at the team level, is you're running a team, you've got a Monday morning meeting, you show up, you're already at the bottom of the mountain, you're starting from a deficit, you start to see all the problems, you're riddled with anxiety, you walk into that team meeting and the first thing you do is just start taking all the stuff you're stressed about, pointing out all the problems, and you bring that energy into the team that you're leading. Very common issue, right? Because this is a is a comfortable natural place, but pausing and starting to look for what is good, and then starting to name what is good can really shift team dynamics and shift your own perspective to give you that mountaintop perspective. And so let me go back to this.

Adam Weber: 19:53

So my my thing here, and I genuinely believe this is the number one thing that changes people's leadership when you take this seriously. This is not woo woo stuff. This is like brain chemistry one zero one and how to lead great teams is a practice of gratitude. And implementing a genuine practice of gratitude in your life, it changes your vantage point, gives you that mountaintop perspective so you can look out. It helps you it helps remind you of what is actually good.

Adam Weber: 20:23

It forces you to start finding out what you want more of versus what you want less of. So here's my other so one is like writing that vision consider. This one is my one non negotiable. So I want everybody to grab your phone right now before we go. This is the one thing I was like, everybody's got to do this.

Adam Weber: 20:39

One thing. So grab your phone. Open up the notes app on your phone. If you have android, I I don't know what it's called. Scribe.

Adam Weber: 20:51

What's it called? Google notes. Google notes. Okay. Still notes.

Adam Weber: 20:53

Okay. Whoever you got it. Write the word gratitude at the top. Find out you don't know how to spell gratitude. That's okay.

Adam Weber: 21:00

I've been on that journey too. You're like, there's a lot of t's in this thing. And then what I want you to do though is every every single day, write down at least one thing on this note. Every single day. One good thing that is happening in the world around you.

Adam Weber: 21:21

Susan prepped for this meeting and it really moved the needle. I got to spend thirty minutes with my kids before work today. The barista pronounced my name right. Whatever, I don't care what it is, just like write things down and then and so start that one to two things every day, doesn't have to be much. Set a reminder on your calendar, Friday's ten minutes.

Adam Weber: 21:42

Pull that note up and send two notes to people on your team that made it onto that gratitude. Hey, Susan, the prep you did for that meeting really moved the needle. Two things happened and this is why this will change your leadership and it will change your company. One, it helps you stop just seeing problems and it helps you start articulating what you want more of in your culture. That's part of it.

Adam Weber: 22:09

And two, you create some definition for other people on what your what great looks like. So and it compounds when you do that. Right? When you start telling people, hey, that was awesome. That that was really good.

Adam Weber: 22:24

They're like, oh, now I know what it is. Prior to this, I just thought it was everything was a constant level of disappointment from one to five all disappointing, but I don't know what great looks like. So it's a really critical practice and it allows you to maintain appropriate perspective as well when you're solving problems. Everybody good? Everybody got their note?

Adam Weber: 22:44

Thumbs up if you did your note. Alright. Look, it would mean a lot to me if you ever applied this practice that you would give me an update on how it's gone, if it's made a difference in your life. This is the thing I get the most comments about. To you, if you lead a Monday team meeting, I cannot stress enough, start the meeting with the things on that note.

Adam Weber: 23:03

You will you can say as many problems as you want as long as you start with that note first, and it will really change how it feels to be on your team. The sign this is why I'm such a big fan of gratitude though. Gratitude activates your brain's dopamine pathways, the same ones tied to motivation and decision making, which is what we're talking about. And leaders that practice gratitude were rated as more trustworthy and approachable, critical for psychological safety. I'm sure you've heard this word psychological safety a lot, but simply put, that's that calm steady presence.

Adam Weber: 23:36

Someone can come to you with an idea without fear of you snapping. Squeaky chair is actually such a good example. I've worked in manufacture been in manufacturing environments a lot. People on the line bring up something broken on the line. The manager's stressed out of their mind and they have a snap reaction, and so then that person who was fixing an inefficiency in the culture puts on the blinders, starts applying for jobs until their last day.

Adam Weber: 24:04

Rinse and repeat throughout our entire culture. So really important practice. I'll go okay. That was the gratitude slide. My other leader leadership, how do you maintain your perspective is walking.

Adam Weber: 24:20

One way that I practice gratitude too, and I've done this for ten years, this is a well vetted practice. I take the first three minutes of every walk, and I just and I do my gratitude. I've got a busy mind. So when I'm walking, first three minutes don't stop. I'm thankful for this job, how it provides for me, that I'm doing the work I was meant to do.

Adam Weber: 24:38

Thankful for my kids, about to go to college, big moment in my life. Thankful for this tree, thankful for indoor plumbing, whatever it may be, right? You just like keep going and I am thankful for that. That's about how long it takes to change the dopamine pathways, about three minutes. And it's a great discipline, but then once that time is over, I want you to keep your phone away.

Adam Weber: 25:02

Consider this. Put your phone away, no podcast, nothing, and just go on a walk. But you can knock out your exercise and your walk all in one. Our world, we are so bombarded with inputs and information from your team, from your boss, from the culture, from social media, from the twenty four hour news cycle. We end up in this world where it is so hard to hear our own voice and to give ourselves space.

Adam Weber: 25:28

We're at the bottom of the mountain and we're looking up and we're like, I don't know why I can't hear anything from here. And so give yourself some space to see what happens happens in this, and amount of leaders that I've had who've been like, I cannot believe I thought that was a hard problem. I was just one walk away from solving it. So maintain your perspective. I call this I forgot to put this slide in, but this whole challenge that the tyranny of the now.

Adam Weber: 25:58

Does that can you like feel that in your bones? Like what the tyranny of the now feels like where the current problem in front of you feels like the absolute most important thing in the world. That nothing else could ever be more important than this, which usually is because we've lost our perspective. And so these are practices that help us regain that perspective. And look, the science backs up.

Adam Weber: 26:21

Ten minutes of brisk walking immediately improves problem solving, business's problems. The best people at business are the best at solving problems. It backs it up. And then the other practice that I've seen just be so valuable for my own clients is a practice of meditation. I'm not talking about going to India and finding a guru or things like that.

Adam Weber: 26:42

That'd be cool if you do that or a mountaintop experience. But I'm just talking space in your life where you are able to observe and have choice in how you react. So much of leadership, unregulated leadership is you reacting impulsively versus intentionally, and this is a way that you add discipline to create space in your life. Also, what a cool time to be alive that you can just download apps from the app store and do this. So for me, if you want to know like what I I use the Huff app.

Adam Weber: 27:17

I have a busy mind, so the Huff app is a very like proactive type of meditation. But there's Headspace and Calm and Happier. They're all great tools and resources. And it doesn't take much to start. This is Shana Krasinski.

Adam Weber: 27:31

She's an incredible chief people officer in Illinois, Midland States Bank. She said, what started as a ninety second a day meditation has turned into a daily practice that is the foundation of my centeredness. Publicly traded bank, pretty high end, you know, stressful job, and what she recognizes is giving that intentional time every day allows her to show up in calm, steady ways for her team, make great decisions. And then the last thing on this is rooting yourself in the timeless. So if we live in a tyranny of the now at work, inputs from every direction, twenty four hour news cycle, social media, everything in your life is trying to pull you into this moment being the most important moment.

Adam Weber: 28:18

And so I would just challenge you to say, what are things that help remind me of the bigger world, the bigger story that's happening, right? And what I found from my clients is that reading things that are timelessly true can really help with that, whether it's a sacred text for you, history books, something that reminds you that like this has probably happened before. I don't want to lose my perspective. For me, it's poetry. I love Mary Oliver or Rumi, if you've heard of him before.

Adam Weber: 28:49

He's a poet from the December. And I read almost every morning, I read one of his poems. I'm like, I can't believe that makes sense today. It's it's it's a great way to regain that perspective before I enter my workday to remind me of like the bigger perspective as well. So just to pull it all together, a life of centered ness gives you that calm steady presence you need to solve problems in an effective way.

Adam Weber: 29:18

Life outside of work, hobbies, exercise, read things that are timelessly true, walking, meditation, solitude and gratitude. Also, what a time to be alive with AI that I could just type in every single slide and they just made all those visuals for me. I didn't do a single thing. What this all amounts to though, just to bring this kind of full circle, is how do I learn to listen to myself? How do I start to pay attention to like and create margin in my life that allows me to hear the voice like of myself?

Adam Weber: 29:56

There's no better example than that than Beethoven. So I'll close with this. You may not know this, but Beethoven changed the course of music history, right, with his fifth symphony? What if I did the whole song? Right.

Adam Weber: 30:11

Everybody's like, what a long close he went with. So in his twenties, he started losing his hearing. In his thirties, he can't perform anymore. By his forties, he's totally deaf. He was a brilliant musician in his twenties and thirties.

Adam Weber: 30:25

Wrote music that was that was brilliant, yes. Sounded just like his teacher Hayden at the time. Also, yes. So he wasn't the Beethoven that we know today. It was in his forties.

Adam Weber: 30:36

When he stopped, he was unable to hear. He started creating the music that changed the course of human history. Arthur Brooks says it this deteriorated, Beethoven was less influenced by the prevailing fashions and more by the musical structures forming inside his own head. Deafness freed him because he no longer had society's soundtrack in his ears. So my challenge for you is just to create margin and space in your life where you're able to hear the voice of yourself to help you make those decisions from a calm, steady, centered place, become the very best leader that you're capable of.

Adam Weber: 31:14

It's so good be with you all. Thank you so much.